Armor in the Morning

Well, I found myself in a slump.  I was waking up in the morning with fear and quiet panic there to greet me.  Worry would massage my brain as my feet met the floor to start the day.  My to do list nagged at me and a nasty little voice in the back of my head would sing, “You’re not gonna make it, you’re not gonna make it.” 

Sure I was spending time with the Lord in the morning but that fear and doubt would hang on me like toilet paper stuck to a shoe. 

But then yesterday morning, a thought popped into my mind  while I was laying in bed (thank You, Holy Spirit).  ”Remember your armor.”   Oh yeah, that’s right.  I’m a soldier.  I’m in a battle.  AND I am sick of LOSING! 

So I started putting on my armor.  Out loud, I put on each piece and declared what it meant to me. 

The Helmet of Salvation:  Yes, I have eternal hope.  I belong to Jesus.  I am His child.  I am favored. I have an eternal inheritance.  Hope!

The Breastplate of Righteousness:  (This one really got me.)  It’s not about what I do because I am covered by the righteousness of Christ.  There is no condemnation for me because I am in Christ Jesus.  Though I am weak, He is strong.  I can approach the throne because I am forgiven and covered by the blood of Jesus.  

When I struggle, it is sometimes harder for me to spend time with the Lord because I feel bad.  My seemingly short temper, feelings of doubt, sadness and being overwhelmed seems to open a door to condemnation.  It’s hard to face the Lord when you’re feeling condemned.   So when I began to remember that it is not by my righteousness that I come before the Father, but by the righteousness of Christ, I really felt the heaviness lift and a victorious attitude rose up in my heart.   He still loves me and He is on my side!

The Belt of Truth:  I will remember what is true.  I will not believe the lies of the enemy.  I know who I am. I am His and He is mine.  His promises are true. 

The Shoes of Peace:  I have peace with my Father because of what Jesus has done for me.  I am surrounded by His peace and I can walk in His peace.  I will not fear.

My Shield of Faith:  I love this piece.  I don’t hide behind it.  I use it as a weapon.  When the enemy comes at me with fear and doubt, I’m gonna SLAM him with my shield of faith.  I am fervently believing what God has promised to me and my family and ain’t NOBODY gonna take it away!!!  I am so sick of the enemy stealing from me and I am taking hold of everything he has tried to take and ripping it out of His gnarly little fingers through faith in Jesus.   My faith will cause the enemy pain. 

I then declared that by faith I am reaching into the heavenlies and pulling down all that God has for me and my family.  By faith I am reaching into the open windows of heaven and recieving what He has for us. 

The Sword of the Spirit:  I will declare God’s Promises over my family’s life.  I will take every thought captive and think only on things that are true, noble, pure, lovely, excellent and praiseworthy.  The Word of God is alive and active in me.  It is transforming, renewing and cleansing my mind.  

After I put my armor on, I was certain that when my feet hit the floor, the enemy went running.  I am victorious, not afraid.  I am joyful, not depressed.  I can do all things through Christ.  In my weakness, He is strong.  I am more than a conqueror and I am ready for the day. 

In JESUS’ name - I have the victory.     Fight, my friend!  Fight the good fight of faith!

Freedom - you want some?

Well, my niece got married - right there on the lake at my parent’s house.  It was so beautiful.   My parents suddenly realized that it was an honor that she wanted to be married there and they really enjoyed the day.  I am proud of my mom for keeping it together and allowing herself to enjoy it and not stress to death.  (My family can be a little tense and we are naturally loud.) 

I ran the sound system because my husband was away in Maryland.  (I’m not a sound tech.) Can you believe I played the wrong song for the unity sand moment?  (This seems to be something new.  Instead of lighting a unity candle, the bride and groom pour different colored sand from individual jars into one larger jar.) Thankfully,  my niece wasn’t too sure she liked the song they originally chose for that anyway.  So she didn’t mind the blunder. 

Other than experiencing the pressure of running sound, I was able to be at peace that weekend with my family.  There were a few attitudes and quills but I was not afraid.  I actually watched as one of my sisters agonized over something simple and I recognized the underlying tension of trying to win approval.   I am certainly not implying that I am somehow better or more mature than anyone in my family.  I am rejoicing in the freedom and miracle God has brought in my life.  Being at peace and not afraid of being rejected or judged allowed me to encourage, love and minister peace to others - namely my family members.  I was truly amazed at how untouched I was by the fear that once used to control me. 

My hope is that my family and others will see this freedom and get hungry for it.  There is still so much hurting going on.  I hope to see my family healed and whole being able to love and trust one another and stop judging.  I am not completely innocent - I catch myself judging at times, but then I pray.  I don’t want to judge them, I want them to see Jesus and abandon their thoughts, dreams, desires, and actions to Him.  That is the only way to be free. 

I never understood the verse where the apostle Paul talked about being a slave to righteousness.  That used to bother me because I wanted to be free - not a slave.  But in order to truly be free, you must lay down your life.  It may not sound like it makes sense, but once you begin to do it, you realize what your are laying down are all things that keep you bound to the flesh - to death.  When  we lay something down, God quickly fills that space with His Spirit - with life.  Jesus said He came to give life and that more abundantly.  Is your life abundant or is it crowded with earthly thoughts, desires, dreams and actions? 

Let the mind of Christ be in you as according to Phillippians 2.  Don’t be afraid to lay down the things you may think are important and what you need.  Trust God, He is faithful and He is on your side.  He is a good Father and wants to pour His favor on you.  He wants to give you good gifts.  I am living proof and I am inviting anyone who will listen.  Don’t hold back.  Give all your life to God.

Everyday Great Victory

Wow, I just read my last article.  I think I was a bit crabby that day and didn’t realize it.  Funny how we can go a few days and not realize how tense we are. 

That’s where husbands come in - “Is everything all right, hon?  You seem a little tense.”  

Oh, but then we might get offended.  “What?!  What do you mean, I’m tense?  Well, shouldn’t I be?  Do you know what I’ve been through today?!?”  The poor guy, he was probably just trying to help. 

That’s what you call a moment in time with a PMS Queen. 

I could complain tonight.  There are a few minor hiccups in my normal life routine - here’s a few to give you an idea: I discovered lice in the hair of two of my children; I am preparing to go out of town to my niece’s wedding; I am facing a couple days with all my family members; my husband just left for another state and will be gone for 4 days;  I have been taking care of my niece for two weeks, so I have an extra child; just tonight, my niece discovered a strange looking rash on her leg that is itching like crazy. 

Wow, will it ever end?  I have to admit, the lice pushed me a bit over the edge and I threw a tiny fit - maybe a couple tiny fits.  Oh, and did I mention that my kitchen is being invaded by fruit flies?  I don’t even have any fruit!

Well, I am just going to sit here and smile because it’s all going to pass.  It’s actually comical when you look at it all.  And what a great victory it will be if, I mean, WHEN I find my peace and walk in it.  I can picture myself walking through all these circumstances, laughing at them. 

I do wish I wouldn’t have thrown those fits earlier.  But it’s not too late - there’s still plenty to do during which I can practice my peace. 

Do you know what I mean by “practice my peace”?  It means that I am going to be still before the Lord - even if it’s only for a few moments at a time - and get in touch with reality - God’s reality.  He is sovereign, He is in control, He is my strength, He loves me, I am His, I can do all things through Christ because He is my strength, He is my peace, He is my life, He is all I need. 

I really do love Him.  What a wreck I would be without Him.   He is so very gracious and patient.  He knew what this week would bring and He is holding out His hand toward me and smiling.  “Come on, let’s see what great victories await you.” 

OK, Lord, lead the way.

Death to the people pleaser!

What a crazy summer.  I am a rat in a hamster wheel - or at least I feel like one.  I have felt overwhelmed and out of control. 

I can’t even begin to explain the confusion of the situation I have found myself in while trying to open my yard for the children in the neighborhood.  It is truly a phenomenal mess.  I can’t even begin to come up with a solution. 

On top of that, just today I got into another mess by trying to do something good for my niece’s wedding.   Imagine that!  Two totally different situations, yet similar outcomes!  In both situations, I am trying to do good and it’s coming around and biting me right in the b-u-t-t! 

Once again, I feel entangled and panicky like I must do something to fix the mess! 

Why did it get so messy?  Because I began to work in the people pleasing mode.  I was either trying to make everyone happy or I wanted to fix things to make sure no one gets upset with me.   That is so not walking in the fear of the Lord - it is walking in the fear of man!  People pleasing is a selfish thing because my concern is for myself and not others.  It is sort of a self preservation/protection kind of thing.  Pretty hard to be used by God to reach others if your concern is for yourself.  The more I consider it, the uglier people pleasing becomes.  I can’t stand it! 

Perhaps God is allowing me to feel some heat to burn away some of those people pleasing habits in me.  I am so thankful that He does not let us continue in our error but gently and lovingly prunes us.   Even now, as I consider the situation, I feel His peace and hear His Word in my heart.  “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)  

Yes, I need to repent and be forgiven for fearing man and not God.  I do so right now in the name of Jesus.  Lord, forgive me and teach me.   I know I must not walk in guilt and fear of man’s rejection because I am forgiven, accepted and approved by Almighty God - my Daddy God.  I must walk in that knowledge and truth or my people pleasing days will not end.   

Another verse comes to mind, “Perfect love casts out all fear.”  God loves me with a perfect love, I have nothing to fear.  If I made a mess, I may need to face some consequences but I can do it knowing I am loved, forgiven, accepted and approved.  I am OK.  I don’t have to be afraid of my mistakes.  God is good.  This is hard, but God is good.

Free2Give

I have been reading this  book by Graham Cooke.  Actually, I have read this book several times and have been going over this one section in the book.  Graham Cooke is an excellent minister who works in the prophetic and has this amazing relationship with God.  It is his book, God Revealed, that started me on my journey out of religion and into relationship with God. 

Anyway, there is this section near the end of the book that talks about giving.  Here are some statements he makes: 

 ”His generosity in your life could save your entire community: That’s how much He wants to give you.” . . . “No one in a city could escape the generosity of God if a church really woke up and saw what was available to them in Christ.”  (pg. 58 )

“But He will never give us anything just for ourselves - we are called to give it away, too.  We must always keep our eyes open for someone to whom we can give.” (pg. 63)

“None of us inherit a gift or blessing from God just for ourselves; we inherit for our entire community. ‘The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness, the world and those who dwell therein,’ sang David in Psalm 24:1.” (pg.64)

“He wants to release resources, blessing and prosperity through you to your friends and neighbors. His motive is simple: He wants to save everyone around you.” . . . “We are the opened windows of heaven.” . . . “God wants to give each of us more than we can cope with and enough for our whole community.” . . . “Every time a revived person gets next to someone else, they will have something to give them.  But if we don’t see our lives as a contribution, God will not be able to give us anything.” (pg. 65)

“My job on earth is to give out whatever God gives me.  The faster I give it away, the better it is for me. I am called to be ridiculously generous - and so is every Christian on earth.” (pg. 66)

“God is out to smash Christianity’s preoccupation with itself and its own needs.  We are to be preoccupied with the needs of the community and realize that we are the windows God has opened through which He will pour the resources of heaven.  We must stop living as if God is one step away from bankruptcy.” (pg. 67)

Are you challenged yet?  Of course, Cooke is not referring only to financial giving but any gift God gives us.  For instance, I received healing from depression, now I want to give that same hope to others who are caught in depression.   I have learned of the power of the secret place (spending that quiet time with the Lord, just being in His presence and listening for His voice) and I want to share that with others.  There is so much to give. 

However, let’s not set aside giving financially.  Perhaps giving money is more difficult because it costs us something.  There are SO MANY reasons why we shouldn’t give.  Gas prices are sky rocketing, the economy seems to be suffering - blah, blah, blah.  Quite frankly, I’m sick of it.  Not the “plummeting economy,” but the whining and complaining about it. . . and all the talk about politicians and who is going to make it better!  Why are looking to man to fix this problem?  It’s time for a new plan.  It’s time to rely on a new source - not jobs, not earthly provision.  Do we want to see the windows of heaven opened over us?  Do we want to be part of the flow of heaven’s prosperity?  I do!  So guess what?  It’s time to trust God! It’s time to give!!!

Just as the principal of giving seems ironic - give in order to receive; so does hanging on to your money.  Hanging on is like having a death grip.  You squeeze the life out of being able to receive. 

I am challenged.  I want to grab hold of this concept.  I want to give fearlessly and ridiculously.   I want to take this to a new level in my life.  I feel like it is time to live by a new set of standards -not the old careful ones, but the ones that challenge and cause the promises of God to flow in our lives.  We have been careful - we have listened to the wisdom of this world and have lived according to it’s fears.  I want to be an open window of heaven and see the blessings of God flow through me (my family) to my neighbors.  They are struggling - and I would love to see their hearts melted by the generosity and kindness of God. 

Now I just bought a swing set and pool for our backyard.  As I was reading the book, I thought, “Oh Lord, here I am spending money on my family. I’m giving to us first.”  But I realized that this was also an opportunity to give. 

We have had some issues in the neighborhood with certain children being excluded from certain backyards.  The parents had their reasons and shouldn’t be judged.  However, I wanted to make our backyard a welcome place for all the kids.  And that has been the case.   It is a blessing to be a blessing. 

Realizing this has made it even more enjoyable to open our yard to others.  Last year I actually complained because all the kids were always at my house in our tiny fill ‘n’ spill pool.  I felt a little taken advantage of.  But a little attitude change makes all the difference and now I am happy to have them. 

So I hope you are challenged and encouraged today.  Whatever situation you are in, don’t be afraid to give - even the tiniest bit can bring a blessing your way.  Are you giving so you can recieve?  Well, that’s just the principal in action - but the motivation is love for God and the desire to share His love and Truth! Don’t be afraid -  Bfree2Give!!!

Out of Depression

Remember my testimony about being healed from depression?  (See Depression No More! and New Life - May 2008)  I thought it would be good to give a little update as a testimony of what God has done. 

I have noticed a definite difference in how I have been doing things this summer.   I planted flowers in front of my house soon after my healing.  They are growing beautifully and I have been taking care of them.  Before, I would let them die and then I’d stop planting all together.  I also am very interested in adding more perennials and roses to my landscape.  I am not afraid of killing them.  I have more of an “I can do it” attitude. 

I bought a swing set for my children.  AND I made sure it was big enough to accomodate the neighborhood kids as well as my own.  Once again, there is no fear that I won’t be able to handle all the commotion.   I also got a pool.  These are things I have wanted to do for years but didn’t because it all seemed way overwhelming. 

I took my daughter on a special two day trip with a friend and her daughter.  That was definitely out of the box for me.  I’ll never forget my revelation moment while flying through a water slide tunnel:  I wasn’t just giving my daughter a fun time with her friend but I was having a fun time with my friend too.  I haven’t done that for about 17 years.  

I offered to take care of my mother-in-law’s cat while she was away.  That has been working well and I feel so good that I am able to help.

I have had my niece over for a few days and am hoping to have her again for about a week.  This helps out my sister and my mom.  My mom watches my niece while my sister is at work.  It also gives me a chance to build a better relationship with my niece as it has been strained due to certain issues that have now been resolved.

I have begun dancing in worship and prayer.  I even danced Sunday morning at church.  I didn’t think I could do it but the Lord told me to put my banner down and let Him dance through me.  So I did.  I wonder if some people think I am crazy.  Maybe, but I’ll bet there are some who want to dance too and wish they would just join in.

These things I have listed above, seem so simple but were impossible for me when I was depressed.  But now I am different.  I’m not so afraid anymore.  Afraid of being overwhelmed or failing.  I know I can do all things through Christ and I want to go for it.  I want to have a great summer with my family and I am motivated to make it happen.  Thank You, God!

I really wanted to share these things because it is my hope that someone who is suffering from depression will desire freedom and know that freedom is possible.  I want to encourage those in that death grip to break out by seeking God and believing for that miracle!  He doesn’t want you to be depressed.  He came to give life and that more abundantly.  If you are depressed then you are being kicked around by the enemy of your soul and you don’t have to take it anymore!!!  Fight with faith and surrender to Jesus.  His life will begin to flow through you and quicken your mortal body. 

Believe God, my friend.  Send me a comment if you want prayer.  I will pray on your behalf.

Daily Thanks

I can’t believe it.   I am sitting here with time to spare.  My oldest daughter and I are going to leave for an amusement park in a couple hours and I have everything ready to go.  This does not usually happen.  I am usually running around like crazy, panicking and losing my temper. 

Well, I guess I could do some laundry or straighten my desk.  But these things aren’t necessary for our departure.  OK, I’m looking at the couch covered with laundry.  I guess I should take care of that before we leave. 

The funny thing is, I am kind of nervous.  I think it’s because I am leaving the rest of my family behind.  I hate doing that!  Not that this special date with my daughter (and her friend and friend’s mom) isn’t well worth it.  It’s just that I feel sad about leaving the others and my husband. 

I’m sure I’ll be over it once we leave.  But why does it take leaving to really feel greater appreciation and affection for my family?  Why is it when I am with them every day, I sometimes can’t wait to get away?  And when I can get away - I feel sad and a little lonely.  Do we ever know what we want?!? 

I just want to be steady and consistent.  I want to choose joy and peace every day and every moment.  OK, maybe joy and/OR peace at every moment.  But if I give joy and peace a chance - perhaps God will take those hair raising moments and make them more meaningful and even joyful. 

I guess keeping a grateful attitude is what I need more of.  Lord, help me to be deeply and eternally grateful for my wonderful family.  Even when their wonder seems to disappear and is replaced with relentless aggravation.  (Did I just say that?)  Daddy, help me to see them like you see me.  I am amazed and humbled by Your sweet love for me.  What would I do without You?  I love You so much.  Break open the floodgates of my heart so I can love my sweet little ones like You do.  Help me to reflect the wonder in my heart I feel towards them. Thank You, thank You, Lord for Your endless blessings.  You are my amazing God and King of my heart.  With all I am, I love You, Lord.

Language of Dance

Learn to dance without ever taking lessons.  It’s possible, you know. 

A few ladies and I met at the church today to pray and worship in preparation for the Sunday service.  We are believing God for miracles of healing.  So we went into the sanctuary, put on some worship CD’s and just followed the leading of the Holy Spirit. 

I began to move with how I felt the Holy Spirit direct me and began to dance.  I have not felt like a capable dancer since I was about 10 years old and I only had one session of dance lessons - my husband and I took lessons before we got married so we could dazzle everyone for our first dance.  I’m not sure if anyone was dazzled, but a friend said he could see me counting. 

Anyway, as the Holy Spirit carried me through the sanctuary, I moved with confidence and grace that seemed to come from my very core.  There were times of more intensity and the moves were like grabbing air and pulling things down. 

I began to realize that this was not just dance, and it was not just worship, but I was interceding with my whole body.  I didn’t know exactly what I was interceding for but I knew it was just what God wanted.  I felt the anointing and at moments it was hard to stand. 

I have heard people refer to the flags and dance as “the arts” and I guess there is truth to that.  But what I felt today was that this is not about art so much as it is about God expressing Himself through His people in so many ways.  Not everyone may dance, but they may sing or shout.  Whatever they do, God puts us all together and speaks His will and way over all people. 

 I felt the passion of God in my being today as He used me to pray for someone or something.  And now my passion is greater and so is my faith.

Caught in the Middle

“Avoiding Gossip 101″ - That would be a good course for me right now.   You see, there are about 10 children on our street and, wouldn’t you know, the kids are all learning how to get along, but the parents are having some trouble.  Everyone wants the best for their children and everyone wants everything to be fair.  So someone is always on the defense for their little one. 

I have been trying to make sure we are including everyone and that my children are doing their best to get along with everyone.   BUT parents on either side are experiencing misunderstandings.  So what do they do?  They talk to me.  And, unfortunately, it has taken me TOO long to learn how to handle it. 

Remember, I have a tendency to be a people pleaser (we’re working on breaking that).  So do I think of turning someone away and telling them they need to go talk to the person they have a problem with?  No, I listen and try to make “nice” comments.  THAT NEVER WORKS!!!  Because as I listen and try to make nice comments, I also begin to assume things by what I see and hear.  BAD, BAD, BAD!  One can NEVER assume anything by hearing one side of the story alone.  Actually, one should NEVER ASSUME anything at all!!!  So, anyway, I end up making nice comments based on wrong information. 

Rule #1 about gossip - you’re involved as soon as you start listening  

Rule #2 - the more you say (even nice things) the more you’re involved   

Here I am supposed to be a light for my neighbors, an example of the love of Jesus.  Can’t do that and be a gossip - even a gossip who makes nice comments.

So what DO I do?  Right now, I am thinking that when the opportunity arises, I need to lay it out there and let them know that I cannot be in the middle and it would be best for them to go directly to whomever they are having a problem with.  I feel like I want to fix the situation because I know the upset is based on a misunderstanding.  But if I do that I will REALLY be in the middle. 

I know there are some out there - some of you experienced moms who have made a great impact on your neighbors - who could lend some godly advice.  I would greatly appreciate your wisdom on this situation. 

 

 

Acclimate!!!

Summer is here!  The kids are home!  Routine is squash! 

“Acclimate!” was the order our swim coach would bellow out at the start of practice in high school.  This meant we were to jump into that cold water so our bodies could get used to it and we would be ready to practice.  Oh how we hated that word! 

Now as the kids are home from school every day, staying up later and the home is busy with activity, I keep hearing a voice in the back of my mind yelling out, “Acclimate!” 

Where has my quiet time gone?  Where was my secret place - it seems more difficult to find.  What happened to my peace and why are those old thoughts sneaking in a little more often?  Time to make some adjustments - time to acclimate. 

I can’t let the day get started without taking some time in the secret place - but I can’t seem to get out of bed before the kids!  I thought I could still get up at 7am and have some peace and quiet.  But as the kids stay up later - so do I - thus sleeping in till 8 has been the norm for the past week.  Well, enough of that.  We’ve had one week of summer vacation and before it goes on any longer I need to establish a new routine. 

Summer vacation is about ten weeks long.  What a great opportunity to pour into my kids and encourage them in the way of the Lord.  To make the most of this opportunity I know I need to have my time with Daddy God or whatever I do will be less in the Spirit and more in the flesh.  Been there, done that - it doesn’t work.

Not to mention, if I don’t establish some kind of routine and keep my head in the right place, it seems that circumstances and activites take control of time.  The next thing you know you’re running circles and nothing meaningful takes place. 

So as coach would say, “ACCLIMATE!”